“come here” you said. you hugged me and kissed my head and let me cry into your shoulder. “I won’t let him say anything. And if he does, he will end up in the hospital.” you said. “I’ve got your back on this.”
Do you have any idea how much I love you?
You are perfect, with all your imperfections.
Dear heart,
I’m saying goodbye to you. I’m glad I was able to spend the night with you one last time, it was amazing pretending you were mine again. I love you, but I will keep my promise to you. I was so proud of myself for not even looking at you when you came to hug me after I struck a bargain with you. I will keep up my end. I shant speak to you, seek you out again until you contact me. Which may be a very long time. It may be never, but I’m going to trust in the fact that somewhere, deep down, you still have feelings for me, and some day you’re going to wake up and feel like a douche bag for everything you did. Maybe someday you’ll call me crying begging for forgiveness. But until then, I’m going to live my life as happily as I can without you.
My heart is and always will be yours and after everything you’ve done to me, if you ever change your mind. I”ll be here. You will always be the one for me.
Forever yours,
Jamie.
Dear Travis,
You were learning. You learned that when I’m ranting, crying uncontrolably, or trying to angrily leave, that the easiest fix was to hold me. To wrap your arms around me and hold me from behind and not let me go no matter what. You learned that. You learned that when I”m crying and upset, that I don’t want you to ask me questions or make me talk about it. You learned that I want you to let me cry into your shoulder. You learned.
You know me better than anyone. So why are you wasting all this knowledge.
ldadsjfasdj
I Love You.
Happy Birthday, tomorrow. You know I’d be by yourside if you’d let me. Hope its a good one anyway.
My first YT cover video;; Favorite. Share. Like. Cuddle With it. Whatever you like. (:
Dear Travis,
You’re making my head spin. The way you kissed me to “make it better” or to shut me up in a cute way…just like you used to. The way you snuggled up to me and hid your face in my side when I brought up something embarrassing. The way that you caressed my hair when I looked up to talk to you. The way you acted like you didn’t want me to leave when I was standing by the door and you kept hugging me. The hesitation at the door…I almost kissed you.
Then you texted me yesterday before you went to bed just to talk. You don’t like texting. I don’t know how many times you’ve told me you don’t text, especially not to have a conversation. You don’t even do that with your friends.
I saw you at your work today. I was just renting a movie, I sort of wanted to be near you, or at least hope the you saw me, but I didn’t really want to be confronted…or IDK. But you said something about me being scary, teasingly of course as it was paired with your award winning smile, and I smiled shyly and blushed. You completely caught me off guard. A part of me hopes you didn’t notice. Since when am I shy around you?
I’m try so, so, so hard not to be all like “OMG THIS MEANS HE LOVEZ ME YOZ” because I don’t want to get my hopes up for something that it’s not. But then I think about it, and knowing how you acted before compared to how you’re acting now…A part of me really, truly believes that you’re starting to miss me, the part that doesn’t believe is the part that doesn’t want to get hurt again. That part of me is thinking well maybe this is just how you act with friends…but that’s not true. My head is spinning.
I’m dying to see you again. To hang out with you. To touch you. To kiss you. To lay with my head on your chest and your arm around me. But I don’t know when that’s going to be. And while I do want that to happen, the over-analytical, wall-protected part of me thinks it would be a hell of a lot easier if you don’t ever call again because what if you do, and it’s not the same. What if nothing happens like that the next time and you act like the same old person you were a month ago.
I’m dying to tell you how much I love you. I won’t, but I’m praying like hell that you haven’t forgotten.
Please come back to me.
<3
Songs posted throughout the next few months. If you like, share. (:
